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Chapter 8 Writing Style
During the revising and editing stages of the writing process, read
sentences aloud to gain a different perspective on the sentence structure. When
you fi nd several short sentences in succession, decide if combining some of
them into slightly longer sentences will help the fl ow and clarity. When you
lengthen sentences, always reread to make sure the writing is still crisp and
clean. Learning to critically read your own writing takes practice. At fi rst, it
will take longer to reread and hear or see the fl aws. However, as you continue
to practice revising and editing, this discipline will help improve your writing.
Choose Active or Passive Voice
Verbs show the action in a sentence and either directly or indirectly tell the
reader what the subject is doing or has done. You could say that verbs are the
heart of the sentence. When a verb is in the
active voice,
the subject (the noun)
is doing the action. In the
passive voice,
the subject receives the action.
Active voice
He explained the policy.
The company approved the plan.
Passive voice
The policy was explained.
The plan was approved.
The following sentences are written in active voice. The subject is shown in
bold and the verb is underlined.
The company hired her in 1989.
First Mutual, Inc. offers fi nancial planning services.
The union members rejected the proposal for nonunion hiring.
All of these sentences are clear and concise. Each one precisely tells what
action the subject took. Notice the lessening of the verb’s impact when it is
written in the passive voice:
She was hired by the company in 1989.
Financial planning services are offered by First Mutual, Inc.
The proposal for nonunion hiring was rejected by the union members.
When you use the active voice in writing, the message comes across in
a stronger tone. Active voice is best when you need to be direct and have no
reason to soften the tone of a sentence. Therefore, to downplay the union’s
objection in the above example, the passive-voice version of the sentence would
be the correct one to use.
Passive voice is perfectly acceptable in writing. However, it should be used
with thought given to the purpose it serves. Here are some appropriate uses of
the passive voice:
When the doer is unknown
The building was constructed in 1984.
(Who constructed the building is unknown.)
When the doer is unimportant
Your order was shipped on Thursday.
(The shipper is unimportant.)