31 Chapter 2 Mindset Matters Copyright Goodheart-Willcox Co., Inc. What about this student’s reflection and experience is familiar to you? What stands out to you? This student’s reflection is very applicable to the college experience overall. It’s a short and intense experience full of opportunities where it is so important to remain engaged and continue to ensure that you’re having the experience you want to be having. Whether this is socially, academically, emotionally, intellectu- ally, or in any other category, it is so important that you are in touch with what you want and need. This, of course, circles back to the unique power you hold in your own life because this is about you taking steps to improve your own experience. It’s about you caring enough to put in the effort to make a change in whatever situation you’re in, whether it’s a class, a relationship, or a family dynamic. CRITICAL MOMENT Student I studied abroad in college for a year in a place where I didn’t know the language at all before arriving. About halfway through my year, I realized that I was very disappointed that I didn’t have more friends at my college. I interacted with my peers in simple ways, but I didn’t feel like I had formed deep or real bonds with them. But when I thought about how much longer I had left (5 months) and how hard it would be to put the effort into connecting with them via a language I barely knew, I reverted to the thought: Damn, I wish I had put effort into that earlier. Now it’s too late. So, I went about my regular patterns of life. Three months later, I had only two months left. I again was thinking about how cool it would be if I actually had stronger bonds with people at my school who I could keep in touch with later and maybe stay friends with for life. I looked back at myself three months ago and thought: Shoot. It wasn’t too late then, but now it is! Three months have passed and I haven’t made much progress. I wish I had done it then, but now it really is too late. So, I continued on. Then, it was my last week at that school and predictably, I felt an even more inflated sense of regret. In my last days eating lunch with my peers and hanging out during breaks, I couldn’t help but feel so frustrated that I hadn’t tried harder to be friends with them. I thought, “Even if I had started trying last month, or last week, at least I would be in a better position than I am now.” I looked back at my mindset two months prior and five months prior and realized: It was never too late. I was always in a position, from the time I arrived to the time I left, to put in effort to have the experience I wanted. But because I participated in this type of thinking, I missed out on months and months of opportunities to make small changes or put even a little effort into doing what I wanted. And so, as I took the steps to literally leave this place, leave these people behind, I felt the most regret I have ever experienced, and I felt strongly that I never, ever wanted to think that way again. Even if you only have one month, one week, even one day left in your situation, it is worth it to take the steps to change it for the better for you.