20 Unit 1 Reaching Your Potential
do get a chance to talk, others may not take them
seriously. In some families, the expectations for
the youngest child are lower than for the oldest
child. If families provide fewer limits and respon-
sibilities to a youngest child, that child may appear
lazy or undisciplined. In other families, the youngest
child develops skills rapidly to keep up with older
siblings.
The middle child is not always given the same
responsibility as the oldest child or the same
attention as the youngest child. Children respond
to this middle position in different ways. Some
middle children become peacemakers who try
to settle differences between other brothers and
sisters. Some put extra effort into their work, trying
to outdo an older sibling. Some respond by choosing
unacceptable activities that will get attention,
even if it is negative attention.
The Only Child
An only child does not experience the daily
give-and-take of sibling relationships. He or she
also does not experience the confl icts that siblings
often have. As a result, this child may take longer
to learn to resolve confl icts with playmates. Most
families with an only child try to provide opportu-
nities for interaction with other children so these
skills are learned. These opportunities also give an
only child a chance to learn how to share with oth-
ers, another skill that children with siblings learn.
An only child generally spends more time
with adults in one-on-one situations than does a
child with siblings. This can stimulate the only
child to learn adult behavior at an earlier age. At
the same time, an only child may be the center of
attention in those situations. When the attention
stops, the adultlike behavior may be replaced
with immature actions and attitudes. Providing
opportunities to interact with other children of
the same age can encourage the child to behave
more maturely.
In what ways have you seen that siblings treat
each other differently based on their birth position?
companions who play together and learn to share
as they play. They can learn to work together to do
a task. These experiences can help children learn
to get along with others. Of course, siblings can
sometimes be rivals for parents’ attention or for
family resources.
Sibling Position
Being the fi rst, the last, or a middle child
in the family can make a difference in a child’s
development. Being an only child may also affect
development.
Parents are usually idealistic with their fi rst
child. They have high expectations for him or her.
Older siblings may be given more responsibility
in the family. They may be expected to do things
for themselves. They may be required to set an
example and care for younger siblings. As a result,
oldest children often get practice using skills for
making decisions, organizing tasks, and super-
vising others (Figure 1.14).
The youngest child often receives a lot of
attention. Older siblings may do tasks that the
youngest child could and should learn to do
alone. As a result, younger children may be slow
to develop self-help skills such as dressing them-
selves. Sometimes younger children may struggle
to get a chance to express themselves. When they
MANDY GODBEHEAR/Shutterstock.com
Figure 1.14 Often older siblings help care for younger
children in the family. How could these relationships
benefit both siblings?
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