Copyright Goodheart-Willcox Co., Inc. 58 Journalism: Publishing Across Media Writers’ Workshop Chapter Two Chapter Two In this Writers’ Workshop you will: • Use participial phrases to enrich sentences. • Experiment with the wording and placement of participial phrases. • Use triplets to add impact to your writing. WORKSHOP 2.1 W ORKSHOP 2.1 The “ing” That Describes The “ing” That Describes Mini-Lesson: Using Present Participial Phrases to Modify A present participle is the “ing” form of a verb: drip/dripping, pound/pounding, dance/dancing. When you use a present participle with the to be form of a verb, you create the progressive form of the verb: He is dripping. Her heart will be pounding. They have been dancing. Without the to be verb, the participle becomes an adjective, which is the participle form we will be using in this workshop. Participial phrases such as hair dripping, heart pounding or feet dancing can be used to modify the noun or pronoun that is the subject or object of a sentence or clause. They can make an active sentence even more active. Start with a strong verb—in this case, kicks. Create a simple Subject/Verb/Object (SVO) sentence. Use the simple present or simple past tense of the verb. Your sentence should look something like this: The soccer player kicks the ball toward the goal. Participial phrases can be inserted at several places in the sentence, but put them between the subject and the verb for now. Your sentence should look something like this: The soccer player, hair dripping, heart pounding, feet dancing, kicks the ball toward the goal. Apply It! Follow the step-by-step instructions below to enrich your own sentence. 1. Think of an active verb that you can picture. Write an SVO sentence using that verb. 2. Now list at least four participial phases to describe the subject of your sentence. 3. Read your phrases aloud, but to yourself. 4. Choose your three best phrases and insert them between the subject and the verb. 5. Collaboration and Editing. Read your sentence aloud to a partner. Do you and your partner agree about the order of the participial phrases in the sentence? Where do you want to put your strongest, freshest, most interesting participial phrase? Mini-Lesson: Where to Put the Participial Phrases Experiment by moving the participial phrases to different places in your sentence. Try them at the beginning of the sentence, before the subject: His hair dripping, his heart pounding, his feet dancing, the soccer player kicks the ball toward the goal. The reader’s attention will now focus on the dripping hair because it is the opening element of a sentence. Is this where you want the reader’s attention? Beginning your sentence with a participial phrase lengthens the time it takes your reader to get to the who and the what of the sentence. Participial phrases create a left-branching sentence when placed before the subject. Left-branching sentences often slow down your reader. Journalists use them very sparingly. Now try the participial phrases at the end of the sentence: The soccer player kicks the ball toward the goal, his hair dripping, his heart pounding, his feet dancing. The last element of the sentence lingers in the reader’s mind. It is the second most important part of the sentence. Do you like the idea of the dancing feet remaining in the reader’s mind? Apply It! Follow these step-by-step instructions to experiment with participial phrases. 1. Pick one of the nouns below and add a strong action verb and an object, making an SVO sentence. airplane boat horse car sword (or knife) wolf (or other animal)