Copyright Goodheart-Willcox Co., Inc. Chapter Sixteen Visual and Multimedia Storytelling 521 Chapter Sixteen Chapter Sixteen Writers’ Workshop Weideman describes the paper on which The New York Times is printed as ... SAY the comparison rolls large enough to serve as the business end of a steamroller: EXPLAIN the comparison (How are the rolls like the roller of heavy equipment?) 2,200 pounds each and fi fty inches in diameter. EVIDENCE or EXAMPLES (of their size) Eighteen-wheelers carried them to a Times storage facility in the Bronx, then to the production plant in Queens, where they sit stocked in eight rows on nine shelves, four deep, like soup cans in a grocery store for giants. Apply It! Apply It! Use SEE format and a comparison such as a simile to explain or describe a process or technique that may be unfamiliar to others in your group or class but which you understand. Pick only a small part of a larger process for instance, removing a clay pot from a wheel, signing (using American Sign Language) an abstract or religious idea, or a technique from hairstyling, cooking or sports. Create your comparison using a chart such as this one: SAY the comparison EXPLAIN the comparison EVIDENCE or EXAMPLES From the chart, create a paragraph that identifies the process and includes this sentence: “This is how it works.” Read your work aloud to your group, receive responses, revise and publish. Mini-Lesson: The Verbs Have It Mini-Lesson: The Verbs Have It More common than similes are implied comparisons such as metaphors. You use them to bring your audience’s previous experience to the new or abstract thing. The most powerful way to do this is through a verb. The business section often deals in abstractions, but look at the deck and lead of this Los Angeles Times story about gas price increases. (The metaphoric language is in bold. Squeeze is actually a verbal—a verb acting as a noun.) “Squeeze on supply follows a refi nery explosion and other facility closures. California gas prices have shot up about $1 a gallon in the last month ...” And in this crime report: “Trouble had been brewing before closing time ...” And this report about Detroit’s financial crisis: “The groups say several things beyond homeowners’ control have dragged tens of thousands of them into fi nancial holes ...” “The problem has festered for years, but it is under a spotlight now because of the positive changes being trumpeted post-bankruptcy. Nothing is physically being squeezed, shooting up, brewing (like coffee or beer), being dragged into holes, festering (like an infected wound), illuminated by a spotlight or announced with the sound of trumpets. The audience may not even register that the sentences contain metaphors, but the power is there. The language, especially the verbs, is strong and active and creates mental images. Try rewriting each of the examples without the metaphoric language. For instance, replace squeeze on with problems with or shortages of. Read your metaphor-free version aloud, then read the example as written. Which is stronger and more interesting? Apply It! Apply It! Search through your own writing or the writing of others for sentences that would be stronger with metaphoric verbs. Look for stories that include abstractions, such as stories about economics, law, science and sports. Rewrite at least four paragraphs from a variety of stories using strong, metaphoric verbs. Read your work aloud to your group, receive responses, revise and publish both the original and your improved version. Extend Your Knowledge Extend Your Knowledge Visit the Journalism website to learn how journalists use allusions to make their writing more powerful. Extend