38 Part 1 Decisions About Parenting
Children are also expected to internalize
the “rules” of home and school and
become more responsible. The stage ends
when the first child reaches age 13.
Parenting adolescents stage. Parents
must now focus on the adolescent who
wants to become more independent of
the family system. Parents have to reason
with children about decisions they are
making within and outside the family
setting.
Launching stage. Parents now prepare
each child in turn to be independent of
the family. Parents assist their children
in becoming established in homes and
careers. The launching stage is a process
of letting go of day-to-day parenting
tasks.
Middle-age years stage. During
this time, parents can focus on each
other again. Many assume the role
of grandparents and prepare for the
retirement years. Couples without
children gradually transition to this
stage while others are in their parenting
years. They mature in their marriage
relationship and prepare for their
retirement years as do people who have
children.
Aging family stage. The couple must
adjust to changes brought on by
retirement. For many couples, this means
having more time to spend with each
other and with new activities. This time
offers couples opportunities to learn new
skills or take on new hobbies. For many
older adults, this also means dealing with
declining health and making changes in
how they handle daily activities of living.
Adult children often play a greater role in
caring for their parents during this stage.
The stage ends with the death of both
partners.
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Experts in family life development hold
differing views on the concept of family life
cycle. Some feel the “circular” view of the
family life cycle is somewhat misleading
for two reasons. First, a cycle refers to
repetitions that happen over a period of time.
Generally, there are no repetitions in this
“cycle.” Other experts call these same stages
a family life career. They view the stages that
families go through in a linear, or straight-line
arrangement that has a specific beginning
and ending. Second, some people do not
follow these stages in sequence or go through
all of the stages. For example, some people
have children and then marry at a later time.
Some launch their biological children and
then begin the parenting stage again with
their grandchildren or even foster children.
Some people do not have children and
gradually mature into the later stages. Once
again, you can see how unique families really
are! Figure 2-8 gives you a graphic example
of both views. Throughout this text, you will
find these stages referred to as the family life
cycle.
Children Develop in Stages
Competent parents recognize each stage
of their child’s development. They adapt
their parenting goals and methods to fit the
child’s current stage. Adapting parenting to
meet a child’s current stage shows respect
for the child as a person. Responsible
and supportive parents promote a child’s
healthy development. By using the “best
fit” parenting goals and methods for each
stage, parenting is made easier and more
rewarding. As you read later chapters, you
will learn more about how children develop
and the role of parents at each stage.
Parenting Happens in Stages
Just as families and children develop
in stages, so do parents. According to Ellen
Galinsky, a highly respected parenting