Chapter 2 Families and Parents 41
Patterns of Behavior Evolve
Patterns of behavior evolve in a family.
These patterns may include family role
functions, rules, and communication styles.
Healthy behavior patterns help families
maintain balance in the family system.
Unhealthy patterns of behavior can be
difficult to change. These patterns can harm
family members’ relationships. For example,
getting into the habit of using negative
communication can cause family members to
feel low self-worth.
Family Systems Have
Boundaries
Boundaries are limits that control the
degree of closeness between family members.
They also control the closeness between
the entire family and influences outside the
family. Family members and the family as a
whole determine whether they will operate as
an “open” or “closed” system or somewhere
in between.
Boundaries within the family have
major effects on how parents interact with
their children. For example, families with
closed boundaries may value emotional
closeness, togetherness, and a sense of
belonging within the family. They are more
likely to place restrictions on children’s
behavior, friendships, activities, and time
away from the family. These families are
less likely to be open to others outside the
family, information, or new ideas. In times
of challenge or crises, families in a closed
system tend to rely on each other. They are less
likely to reach beyond the family boundaries.
For example, they may reject counseling
during a crisis. Each person’s identity is
linked to how he or she fits in the family.
Families with open boundaries
operate a little differently than those
with closed boundaries. These families
value independence more than a sense
of belonging. They want an exchange of
information and interactions outside their
family. They see new points of view as ideas
to discuss within the family, a way for each
member to grow and develop. In an open
system, each family member is free to be his
or her own person and may pursue his or her
own interests. Families with open boundaries
view this as a positive way to promote
individual growth and development. In times
of crisis, these families tend to reach outside
the family for support services. Generally, no
family system is entirely open or closed.
Events Can Challenge Family
Systems
The strength of a family system can be
challenged. Sometimes challenges come
from within the family, such as a severe
illness or disability of a family member or
divorce of the parents, 2-11. At other times,
challenges come from outside the family,
such as a job loss or a natural disaster that
threatens the family’s home and belongings.
Challenging events also put stress on all
family relationships, including parenting.
The stability of the family system is often
threatened by severe challenges. Flexible
Parenting Is a
Two-Way Process
Parent Child
At one time, it was thought that parenting went one
direction. That is, the parent influenced the child,
but the child did not influence the parent.
Parent Child
Today’s view is that parenting is a two-way
process. That is, parenting involves a give-and-
take influence between parents and child.
2-10 Parenting involves both parent and child.