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Chapter 2 Your Growth and Development
Identifying Your Emotions
Emotional responses will be more controlled
as the thinking part of your brain takes over. A
first step is to recognize your emotions. Practice
sharing your emotions when you are not upset.
Then it will be easier to say “I feel angry” or “I
feel upset” when you are under stress. Sometimes
others can help you recognize your emotions by
identifying them for you.
Controlling Your Emotional
Responses
Controlling emotional behavior means that
you communicate your feelings in acceptable
ways. For instance, if you are angry because
someone used your MP3 player, you can say “I
am really angry because you used my MP3 player
without asking.” This is an acceptable, healthy
response—a high road response. Uncontrolled
responses—low road responses—include hitting
people or taking something of theirs to get even.
Another controlled response is to remove
yourself from the situation. You may decide to
take a walk or go to your room until you can
handle the conflict. This can give you time to cool
down and think through your feelings. Consider
what you are feeling and why you are feeling this
emotion. In this way, you can activate the high
road and think through your feelings. You can
think about your response and the effects it will
have on others.
Reaching Emotional
Maturity
Emotionally mature persons experience
mature emotions such as love, self-esteem,
concern, and empathy. They are also able to
activate their thinking brain enough to be able to
control their emotional responses. What factors
help a person grow to emotional maturity?
A strong supportive family network is
important in the development of mature
emotions, 2-6. Being in such an environment
helps you develop positive emotions, like feelings
of being loved, cared for, and valuable to others.
Positive feedback and warm, affirming touches
from others actually affect the chemicals that are
produced in your brain. Growing up in such an
environment will help you experience positive
emotions. However, not every person has a
warm, loving, and relaxed environment at home.
A close relationship with at least one
significant adult has been found to stimulate
the development of mature emotions. Is there
at least one adult with whom you can develop
a warm and caring relationship—someone who
cares about you, and encourages you to grow to
be the best you can be? This might be a parent,
grandparent, youth leader, religious leader, or
teacher. It only takes one close relationship to
stimulate the growth of mature positive emotions.
What are some steps you could take to
give your brain time to travel the high road
before you react?
Use What You Learn
Think of an example when you responded
quickly with an emotional response. What
could you have done to slow down the
emotional response?
Link to Your Life
2-6
A warm, loving, and caring relationship promotes the
development of the emotional center of the brain.