Section 2-3 Communication in Relationships 47
Prejudices
Another barrier to open communication results from prejudices.
Prejudices are opinions that people form without complete knowledge.
They are usually based on a lack of facts and a lack of understanding. People
with prejudices do not accept that others’ beliefs can be different from theirs.
Prejudices might include negative attitudes toward religions, races, cultures,
nationalities, socio-economic groups, cities, geographic regions, or foods.
Many prejudices lead to negative behaviors such as name-calling.
Prejudiced people may choose to avoid certain groups or individuals.
They usually do not seek understanding or new meanings. They have
already made up their minds. It is as if they are saying “I already know
about that” or “I already know about your kind.” These actions set up
barriers and prevent good communication from taking place.
Here is an example of a man who had a prejudice toward certain foods.
When the man took his date out to dinner, she ordered roast lamb. She soon
realized he was embarrassed to be seen with a date who ate lamb. He did
not eat meat and thought of it as unwholesome. He also felt prejudice toward
her because she ate a food that he did not consider acceptable. Because of his
prejudice, the couple never dated again. Such a prejudice toward people and
objects—in this case food—hampers good communication.
Some prejudices come in the form of love. For example, parents are
naturally proud of their children. They may think their son or daughter
is the best looking, most talented, and most personable individual. This
may be true, but such an attitude is usually padded with a little pride
and prejudice. Loving people is important. However, maintaining an
ability to be rational about all people and objects is important, too.
Mixed Messages
When a person’s behavior contradicts their words or actions, they
are using mixed messages. Listeners
are forced to make assumptions as they
receive the speakers’ messages.
For example, a person may say
he or she is telling you the truth, but
avoids making eye contact or seems
uncomfortable. Another example is
the statement “Give me your honest
opinion.” Some people may really want
your opinion. Others say this when
they really mean “Tell me I am right.
Support me in what I have done.” You
must decode the message according
to the situation. Your clues may be the
person’s tone of voice, facial expression,
or body language. See 2-7.
21st
Century
Skills
Cross-cultural skills.
Helen respects the cultural
differences among her
coworkers. She tries to
explore and understand
some of their traditions
and customs.
2-7
Observing a person’s
body language is helpful
in deciphering mixed
messages.