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Unit 3 The Learner
Experiences such as these offer children opportunities to develop
social skills. Children begin to show empathy and caring at a level that
was not possible before. They can also show a lack of compassion
and may hurt others, intentionally or unintentionally. Some children
may experience exclusion from groups, which may result in bullying
problems. At this stage, adults can help children learn important skills
by identifying other people’s viewpoints, talking through possible
courses of action, and offering ideas for resolving conflicts. They can
also help children learn how to better understand and express their
own feelings.
Family Relationships
Children begin to focus outside their families for ideas and activities.
This has an impact on family relationships. They still look up to their
parents or guardians, but they are more likely to argue or ignore
instructions. Children do not like others to tell them what to do and are
very sensitive to criticism. They are often at odds with their siblings,
particularly those who are close to them in age. Children at this stage are
in need of consistent rules and limits.
Self-Concept
At this stage, children desperately want to feel a sense of belonging
and that they are competent. This primarily depends on gaining skills,
especially at school, and on acceptance by others. At the same time,
they are full of doubts; not trying may be a way to cope with fear of failure.
Dressing just like everyone else is an attempt to ensure acceptance.
Criticizing others may be a way to look better in comparison. Competition
is exciting, but it brings with it the possibility of not measuring up. No
wonder emotions can be close to the surface.
Moral Development
Eight- and nine-year-olds generally remain in Kohlberg’s
preconventional level of moral development. They may follow rules
selectively, depending on whether they see a benefit in doing so. They
sometimes like to make deals, essentially saying, “I will behave if you give
me something in return.” They do not yet see rules as changeable, so
they may not always follow them. At the same time, children this age are
concerned about fairness. They complain about rules that seem unfair to
themselves or others.