Section 2-4 Confl ict Resolution 53
Reactions to Confl ict
Confl ict is normal. There will always be disagreements between
people. It is how people react or respond to these disagreements that
determines whether they ignite into major confl icts or just go away.
Negative reactions can escalate confl icts and lead to hostility and personal
attacks. Some even end in violence. Positive reactions can lead to solutions
that both parties can accept. Many actually lead to personal growth.
Negative Reactions
Avoidance is a common reaction to confl ict. Some people just walk
away. This might be a good response if a person is concerned that an
argument could escalate into violence. A cooling-down period might be
good for everyone involved. In most cases, however, avoidance simply
puts off resolution. It does not solve the problem. Instead, resentment
builds up as the person tries to suppress hurt feelings. If this continues
over a period of time, it can lead to an explosion of emotions when the
person fi nally reaches a breaking point.
Some people attempt to resolve confl icts by blaming others. This
is called scapegoating. The person blamed for the problem is the
scapegoat. Everyone else is freed of the responsibility for the problem
because they can blame this other person. This is not a resolution
because no one tries to solve the confl ict. The confl ict goes on with both
parties feeling it is “not my problem.”
Some responses to confl ict include arguing, becoming angry, and name-
calling. When one person becomes angry and begins yelling, the other
person is likely to become angry as well. Verbal attacks fl y back and forth.
People say hurtful things they often regret later. They feel belittled when
their self-esteem is under attack. It is sometimes hard to forgive people when
such outbreaks occur. An atmosphere of hostility prevails.
The most destructive reaction to confl ict is violence. If tempers fl are
out of control, shoving, hitting, or pushing can result. Some people fi rst
experience hitting as children. They think this is an acceptable form
of reaction because their parents hit them. They also see more violence
portrayed in the media—on television and in movies. As they become
older, they may use this same form of behavior. A violent reaction to
confl ict is never the answer. It can lead to child abuse, spouse abuse, or
elder abuse. It can also lead to violence outside the home.
Positive Reactions
There are ways people can react to confl ict that will help the
situation. First, you can learn to control your emotions. Lashing out
in anger usually solves nothing. You can also ask the other person to
remain calm. Both people need to stop, take a deep breath, and quiet
their emotions. See 2-10.
Analyze
and
Solve
Form small groups to
discuss and answer the
following questions: Is peer
pressure a big problem
for teens? Do you agree
that most peer pressure
does not come from close
friends? Have you seen
peer pressure used as a
scapegoat? Can you cite
some instances? In what
ways do teens deal with
peer pressure? Summarize
your group’s responses and
present them to the class.