54 Chapter 2 Skills for Career Success
It is also important to listen. Instead of shouting, stop
and listen to what each person is saying. Focus on the real
problem as you exchange views. Do not bring up other
issues. Focus on the current confl ict.
Try to remain neutral. Do not jump to a judgment
before everyone has his or her say. Then you are ready to
fi nd a real solution to the confl ict.
Learning to react positively when a confl ict occurs is
an important life skill that can lead to personal growth.
It is a sign of maturity when you can control your
emotions, listen to other viewpoints, and avoid jumping
to conclusions. These skills will help you in your personal
relationships as well as in work situations. Teamwork
is stressed in today’s workplace. You might someday be
working closely with other employees in a work setting.
Because confl icts will arise, reacting positively can lead
to constructive resolution of these confl icts. An employer
will recognize and appreciate your ability to handle
confl ict in a mature manner.
Constructive Methods for
Handling Confl ict
To resolve a confl ict, each person has to assume
responsibility for his or her feelings. The emotions you
feel may be caused by others, but they belong to you. If
you wish to lessen stress that occurs in confl ict, you must be willing to
resolve the confl ict. Try these techniques for starters.
Use “I” Messages
Use “I” messages instead of “you” messages. This means you take
ownership for your feelings. You state what you feel or think instead of
criticizing the other person. Say “I think you are ignoring me” rather
than “You are ignoring me”. You might further say, “When I think you
are ignoring me, I feel hurt. I do not like being ignored.” As you express
your feelings, you are taking credit for them.
“You” messages, on the other hand, come across as accusations.
“You are ignoring me” places blame on the other person and may
aggravate the situation. When taking ownership and saying “I think” or
“I feel” you avoid accusing the other person of negative behaviors.
Learn to send “I” messages. For example, “When you tell so-called
funny stories about me to my friends, I am embarrassed.” Can you see
in this example that you are assuming responsibility for your feelings
of embarrassment? A “you” message sounds like an accusation. “You
embarrass me when you tell your so-called funny stories about me to my
friends.” The “you” message places the blame on the other person.
Consumer Services
Representative
Can you think of other careers
related to the chapter?
Link to
Careers
2-10
Being calm and using
humor are ways to soothe
the heated emotions of a
confl ict.