Section 2-4 Confl ict Resolution 55
Decide Who Owns
the Problem
Whose problem is it? When
a problem exists between two
people, both own the problem.
Even when one person creates
the problem, he or she makes
it a problem for the other.
State your point of view in a
way that will not create an
argument. Seek feedback to
determine how the other person
is receiving your message. To
avoid misunderstandings, use
clarifying messages periodically,
2-11. Try comments such as: “If I
am hearing you correctly, you are
saying that...” or “I think I heard
you say...”
Learn to Negotiate
and Compromise
An important method
for resolving confl icts is
negotiation. Negotiation means
communicating with others in
order to reach a mutually satisfying agreement. Such an agreement
usually involves a compromise. In a compromise, both parties agree to
give up something. Each person gives up something of importance to
obtain something else that also has importance.
Negotiation and compromise must be considered carefully. Some
issues may be so important to you that you will be unwilling to negotiate
and compromise. For example, you may not wish to compromise your
moral views or spiritual views. For this reason, you will not enter into
a negotiation that would require you to make a compromise. What is
important is that you negotiate and compromise when it is appropriate.
The purpose of negotiation and compromise is to remove confl ict.
Four methods are commonly used.
•
You win/I lose. The person who wins is happy with this
compromise. However, you are likely to be unhappy about your loss.
The confl ict is likely to resurface at a future time.
•
I win/you lose. This is the opposite of the above situation. You feel
happy because you achieved what you wanted. However, the person
who loses may not be happy about being the loser. This confl ict is
likely to resurface. One person had to compromise too much.
2-11
When resolving a confl ict
with another person, state
your point of view calmly
and clearly. Then ask for
feedback.