56 Chapter 2 Skills for Career Success
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I lose/you lose. Negotiations apparently became very diffi cult this time.
Both you and the other person are losers. So many compromises were
made that neither person’s wishes were met. No one is happy.
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I win/you win. This is the ideal way to resolve confl icts. You were
able to negotiate in such a way that each achieved what he or she
wanted. Neither person forced his or her ideas on the other. Neither
was forced to compromise anything that was cherished. Those items
that were lost were not highly valued, so there were no losers. Both
are now happy winners.
You must recognize that some confl icts cannot be resolved. There
are people who create confl icts and refuse to resolve them. Some people
make unfair demands on others. If this happens, you may have to give
up your responsibility toward resolution. You may have to recognize
that the problem is not yours and leave it with the person who owns it.
In these situations, relations between the people involved will
suffer. Perhaps the relationship is already weak. Remember that
relationships are between at
least two people. Sometimes
every person has to be willing to
stand alone. When efforts toward
negotiation and compromise do
not work, you can still feel you
tried your best. In spite of the
outcome, you have gained some
experience from having tried to
resolve the issue.
Use the Confl ict
Resolution Process
In some instances, a more
formal process may be needed to
resolve the confl ict. The confl ict
resolution process is a step-by-
step form of communication that
allows confl icts to be worked
out in a positive manner. The
process should be used as soon
as possible after a confl ict occurs.
This prevents anger and tension
from building. It should also take
place in private with only the
individuals or parties involved
present. Everyone needs to remain
calm and be willing to listen to
each other.
Life Skills
The Confl ict Resolution Process
1. State the problem. All participants
must have the opportunity to tell their view of
what is causing the problem. Each person must
listen carefully and stay focused on the main issue. All
must agree on exactly what the problem is.
2. List possible solutions. The next step is to suggest
all potential solutions. Think of as many solutions as
possible even if some seem unworkable. An idea can
sometimes spark a better solution. Everyone should be
able to speak freely and without criticism.
3. Evaluate each possible solution. Take a closer look at the
best possible solutions. Which ones do both parties like?
Which ones seem to solve the problem? Use negotiation
skills until a compromise solution can be reached.
4. Pick the best solution. Finally, both parties must agree to
the best solution. It will not be a solution unless everyone
is in agreement.
5. Carry out the solution. A plan should be made to carry
out the solution. State what each party will do and when
they will do it. Keep it simple. Also, decide what actions
the parties will take if a confl ict occurs again.
6. Evaluate the results. The process does not end until
the solution has been put into action and the results
are evaluated. If a confl ict is still occurring, the process
needs to begin again. Following these steps, where
everyone involved is allowed to speak freely, should lead
to satisfactory solutions. More serious and escalating
confl icts can be avoided.
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